Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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