She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
