Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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