guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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