Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
