we have officially lost it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
