that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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