I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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