So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
