I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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