so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
