sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
