I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
