road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize