I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
