did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Vodka?
Forever.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
