# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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