I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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