so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
