You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
