We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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