I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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