Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize