Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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