she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
