Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
