people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
