Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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