in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
