we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
