You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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