I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
