Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
