She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
