apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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