none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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