with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
