I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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