theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
