I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Congratulations! We have a period
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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