Me too!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
