He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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