You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
