You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
