C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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