please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
