it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize