Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
