gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
