yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All the doctor said was why
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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