I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
