we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
