if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
