my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
