Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
