so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize