WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
