now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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