I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
