I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
