of course. lets lasso hookers.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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