just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
