People in love make me want to vomit
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
